By Jill Vandor, Executive Matchmaker, LunchDates www.lunchdates.com
With Valentine’s Day on the horizon we thought it was a good time to take a look at the many things (too many!) that can be said to a woman on a first date that can turn it quickly into a last date! Even though these may seem very logical, there’s a reason we mention them – people still say them!
“You Remind Me of My Mother”
Rule number one: NEVER compare your date to your mother…in fact, best not to mention your mother at all on the first date! The best way to impress a woman is to treat her like she is one of a kind – comparing her to others, let alone mom, is just ill-advised. Furthermore, comparing your date to your mother can be misinterpreted by her and she may think you are one of those guys looking for the woman to basically replace your mom. In conclusion, leave mom at home!
“Wait a Second, While I Find That Groupon”
Rule number two: Don’t look cheap! A first date isn’t the best time to use a coupon or a Groupon. Being frugal can be a great quality in many life situations, but in the case of the first date it is unacceptable. Making a distressed face when you look at the bill will just be a major turnoff. Who wants to date someone who’s cheap?
“My Ex Loved This Restaurant!”
Rule number three: Don’t talk about your ex. Talking about an ex makes it seem like you have not moved on from your past relationship. Nothing is more uncomfortable for a woman to listen to than stories of the good times and great restaurants you and your ex shared. Remember, it’s over. Best just to leave your ex out of the equation entirely!
“I Love You”
Rule number four: Really? Do we even have to tell you this? While this may seem like a no brainer, you would be surprised by how many people do too much too fast. Expressing deep feelings on the first date is strictly forbidden, unless you want to scare your date away. Saying ‘I love you’ to a person you have just met will mean that you are an emotional individual that makes decisions hastily. Besides, how can you be taken seriously? ‘Leave your declarations of love for some other time and focus on getting to know your date better.
“Want to Stop By My Place Afterwards?”
Rule number 5: Pass up the opportunity to invite her to your home. The first date should end with a kiss at most. Inviting your date back to your place is too forward and may move the relationship faster than it’s ready to go. Don’t move too fast, get to know the other person, and let the relationship grow at a pace that’s comfortable for both of you.
Jill Vandor has been a professional matchmaker for over 15 years. Looking for love? Need some guidance? The matchmakers at LunchDates can help! (617) 254-3000