Party Guests Are Using Your Bed — What Now?

Your party is in full swing, beer is flowing, love is in the air. You bop down to your bedroom . . . and find it occupied. Two of your friends are totally making out in your bed. What do you do?

Your party is in full swing, guests are happy, beer is flowing, love is in the air.  You bop down to your bedroom to retrieve something . . . and find it occupied.  Two of your jerk friends are totally making out - or worse - in your bed.  What do you do?

First, I can show you what not to do. Click here for some clips from one of my favorite episodes of Freaks & Geeks, courtesy of YouTube.

Let me tell you something. It's not always easy to be a host. Toilets get clogged, liquor stores close early, valuables get broken, rugs catch on fire, pets escape, tequila destroys the varnish on your coffee table - things happen that are out of your control, and you've just got to smile sweetly and let them go - or ask your guests to help you photoshop a missing cat poster and paper the neighborhood.

However, it is your right as a host to never feel uncomfortable in your own home. And unless you're throwing a key party, it is your right to expect that people will not use your bed like an hourly-rate motel.

My advice: use a tone of voice that says "This is not nearly as awkward for me as it is for you . . . but it's close." Knock on the door and walk right on in. Say something glib like, hey guys, when I told you two to get a room, I didn't mean MINE. Let them know that you are the arbiter of cool, and this, dear friends, is uncool.

If you poke your head in to find your friends in flagrante, spare yourselves some embarassment and wait for them in the hall. As they come out you can hand them some clean sheets and send them back in to make up the bed.


JP resident Liz Doran shows you how to throw amazing parties on a budget. You can follow her at twitter: @bashionista. Or visit her website at: TheBashionista.com

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Matt March 01, 2012 at 09:10 PM
Uh, no... that's not OK. I can't even imagine having guests like that or being OK with it.
Liz Doran March 01, 2012 at 09:42 PM
Yah, thankfully the further out of high school one is, the less likely this is to happen.
Karla Vallance March 03, 2012 at 12:34 AM
And some people sue over it: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/02/lindsay-blankmeyer-roommate-sex-lawsuit-_n_1316791.html
Liz Doran March 05, 2012 at 05:49 PM
Her roommate's sex life drove her to "suicidal depression"?? She's lucky she didn't live with my friend's roommate who decided to see how many months he could go without showering.
Kathy G March 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Hey chill everybody. As long as they're not in the bed, just on it, shut the door and go have fun.


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